"Mommy, come play with me," my three year old son would plead.

"I have to clear the table honey, maybe in a little while," I would reply, hoping he'd forget in a few minutes. How could I keep doing this to him, I thought as I watched the disappointment on his face. I just couldn't run and tumble with him. My knees ached constantly and my feet hurt so much that I could barely walk! So here we are again at a family picnic, outdoors on a beautiful sunny day, sidelined again! And feeling like I was shortchanging my children.

The next day, I made an appointment with a podiatrist, thinking maybe he could help. After x-rays, exams, casts, shots in my feet and expensive orthotics, I still was not getting any relief. He very gently and without condemnation told me the news.

"Laurie, we can do surgery. You have very large bone spurs that can be removed, but if you maintain you current weight, there's a very good chance that they'll just come back. Without health insurance, I know that would be a terrible drain on you financially, as well as physically."

That was it, I started crying right there in front of him! That embarrassed me so much that I cried even harder. The poor doctor had to leave the room to give me time to pull myself together. I was finally at the end of my rope.

My mom and my sister had both developed adultonset diabetes and my mom had just fought a battle with breast cancer. And neither of them were very heavy. I knew both of those diseases could be triggered by obesity and I would probably be next. The doctor's news was just the straw that finally broke the camel's back.

I didn't schedule the surgery, but joined TOPS NY 1036, Newark Valley the following week. At just over 289 lbs., I was, without a doubt, the heaviest person there. But they opened their arms and hearts with such warmth that I knew I was where I needed to be. There were fun contests, programs, and recipes but the biggest help to me was the incredible, unending support. My chapter is filled with wonderful letter writers, phone chatters and email extrordinairs. Hardly a day went by that I didn't hear from at least one of them.

God definitely led me to this chapter, knowing I'd tried before with a hundred other diets, but that I couldn't do it alone. At 289 Ibs, I couldn't look at the big picture, at how far I had to go. I just set 5 lb. goals, and one at a time, began whittling away at them. My chapter was there to see that accomplishments were always recognized, milestones marked and hurdles gotten over.

And in the past few months, my family has had some enormous hurdles, that, were it not for my TOPS friends, near and far, would have been unbearable. My husband Steve, the really goodlooking guy down front here, is a dairy farmer and had a terrible fall from the silo in February. He broke both legs and his back. It was a TOPS member that came to tell me the news, TOPS members that sat in the hospital, called and sent daily messages to encourage us through many surgeries, life threatening blood clots, loss of income and mobility, and 15 stitches in my hand. It was TOPS and their families that made our home handicap accessible, that spearheaded a benefit spaghetti dinner for us, that stocked our pantry, that sent support from across the state and that brought me here today. When my life was at its most upsidedown and insideout, TOPS was there. Weight up or weight down, they are the constant in my week, in my life, that I will always hold on to.

Losing weight is like fighting a war. Around each corner there's a meal, a social event, a stressful situation to deal with, each one a battle in that war. But we have the strategy and the skills to fight this war. We all know the food choices we have to make low fat, less red meat, more veggies and fiber, less sugar and refined carbohydrates. But the other two strategies we're most likely to overlook or ignore are exercise and support.

I could hardly walk when I started, but I had to start. There are nonimpact exercises you can do if you're unable to walk. Walking itself is  the most accessible, userfriendly, least threatening exercise. And strength training with weights builds lean muscle, which helps you burn calories more efficiently and look better. Don't use your limitations, physical, time or financial, as excuses not to exercise. You take charge and win that battle.

And the soldiers that fight together in the trenches of war are often all that stands between you and a fatal blow or in our case, that strawberry cheesecake! Surround yourself with supportive people! I have been blessed with a husband who loved me as much at a size 28 as he did at a size 10. He supported me through the lQO other diets, and when I finally got serious about making lifestyle changes with TOPS help, he joined me. He didn't need to lose weight, but switched anyway to skinless chicken, fatfree cottage cheese, and lowfat desserts. I could only get him to 2% milk, but he is a dairy farmer, and to him, drinking skim milk is like owning a toothless watchdog!

If you have children, and this may sound hard, but don't give them choices. Only stock your fridge and pantry with healthy goodies. Don't cook separately for them and you. You're the parent and their health is your job. Their hunger strike will only be temporary. And if you make their favorites, just healthier, they probably won't even know the difference.

And go every week to your TOPS meeting, lose or gain. They're soldiers in the same war, fighting the same daily battles it their hearts, heads and homes. Take strength and courage from each other. Each of you belongs to an incredible organization, built on the love its members have for each other. Take advantage of that support network and serve in that network. By helping each other, you're helping yourselves.

Through all of this, God has been my strength. There have been many, many times I cried to Him in frustration. And while He was lifting me up to fight another day, He also made it clear that I had to do my part. In Isaiah, He says " Those who hope in the Lord shall renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Keep your sense of humor through this battle. If you find yourself feeling low, you can always find relief in the Hallmark section of your drug store. A TOPS friend sent me a card that read "Good friends are like fat thighs, they always stick together." And if you still need a chuckle, feel free to think of me. Where else but Doris Wilkes' region would you find a queen who's a full 9 months pregnant? I think she planned this when she bopped me on the head at last year's SRD with her magic wand. I thought about wearing my Plumperella costume here today but I think my Fairy TOPS mother would have found a way to get even.

Each of you has the skills, the tools and the resolve to win this war. The magic that can transform you is in your hearts and you are the heart of this organization. TOPS really is a magical kingdom and in this kingdom, the losers really are the winners!